Sour Cherry Whiskey Ice Cream

The Ice Cream Diet

I recently started a brand new diet.
It lets you eat ice cream,
you really should try it.

You eat it for breakfast, for lunch, and for dinner,
and in between meals.
It’s really a winner!

It comes with some coupons and a list of their flavors.
They start you with three that you don’t have to pay for.
And then, they keep sending the rest to your door.
Before you run out, they send you some more.

Here are the flavors that I like the best.
But, beware of unusual side effects.

There’s Blueberry Blush,
and that’s just what it does.
It makes you pee blue
whenever you flush.

The Perfectly Peach
will make your house gleam,
as it gives you the urge
to constantly clean.

The hypnotizing smell
of Honeydew Passion,
gets your man on the go
in that “honey do” fashion.

Another blessed flavor,
Orange Citrus Crime,
makes the kids disappear
so you can unwind.

My poor worn-out husband
thinks I’m addicted.
To the doctor he sends me,
hoping I’d lick it.

“Now, about this
funny ice cream diet,”
says my concerned doctor,
“you shouldn’t have tried it.”

“Why not?”,I opposed
her medical view.
“You’ve gained more weight.
You’re three hundred and two!”

“But I don’t care!”,
the words escaped from my lips.
“I like how ice cream
looks on my hips.”

“My husband is helping,
away my kids flew,
the house is still clean,
and the toilet is blue.

“So what could be wrong
with results like these?”
She paused, and then said,
“Could I try it, PLEASE!!!?

By Dessa Lim

Sour Cherry & Whiskey Ice Cream (Whiskey Optional*)

    

Life is too short to eat ugly food y’all!