Last night after voting, we decided to go out to eat. It was getting late, we were tired and hungry and I had no desire to go home and prepare the meatloaf I had fully intended for dinner. No desire. None, whatsoever. Too…(insert yawn here)…tired.
We settled for something close by and not very busy. Although it had been on our list for quite some time, it was the first time we had tried this particular restaurant. Two words…BIG MISTAKE. What a kitchen nightmare!
Don’t you hate it when you have really high hopes for a place and you’re immediately disappointed just by walking in the door? We should have turned and left as soon as we stepped in, but we were so tired and so hungry we decided to tough it out. How bad could it really be right?
It’s almost impossible to list everything wrong with that place. If I were impersonating Gordon Ramsey on Kitchen Nightmares, this is what I’d say for starters:
1. Where in the bloody hell did you get your dishware…the lastest issue of Better Hospitals and Cafeterias? You can find better at the local Goodwill. Not even kidding.
2. Please, PLEASE spend the extra ten cents for real wine glasses. Cabernet served in a sherry glass….that was a new one. Yet…they have sherry glasses. Go figure.
3. I’d rather pay full price for a real cocktail than take advantage of a watered down discount in ANY glass.
4. Insist your staff wear clean clothing. I should never have had to write that sentence. Ever.
5. If your entire staff is going to argue, maybe it shouldn’t be in front of customers. Just a thought.
6. Salads should probably consist of some type of lettuce. Or vegetable. And maybe not matted to the hospital plate. Recognizable might be a bonus.
7. Plate your entrees. One should never have to search through the .99 box of Rice-a-Roni angel hair you threw on the hospital plate to locate the veal. This was a visual definition of “hot mess”.
8. Veal Picatta should be seasoned. At that point, with anything. And include lemon. And possibly veal. Somewhere.
…and perhaps more than 2 capers. Yes, TWO.
9. If your cook is going to sing from the kitchen, make certain he can. If you are going to allow the cook, I REFUSE to call him Chef, to be an ass to the staff, at a minimum make sure the customers can’t hear him. I’d also make sure the customers can’t hear what he says about them.
10. Tablecloths people. Tablecloths.
Bless their hearts.
My poor husband resorted to this as his Facebook post for the night:
“…the only way I was restored after that meal was to immediately come home and down 2 of Angel’s homemade brownies. My pulse has returned to normal and my IV has been taken out. I am now out of the Food ICU.” Bless HIS heart.
Dark Chocolate Irish Cream Brownies
For the Irish Cream Center Layer:
- 2 blocks cream cheese, room temperature
- 1/2 container Marscapone cheese, room temperature
- ½ cup sugar
- 1 egg
- ½ cup Bailey’s Irish Cream
For the Brownies:
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 tsp. baking soda
- 1 tsp. sea salt
- 1 1/2 cup butter, softened
- 12 oz. GOOD unsweetened chocolate, melted
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup light brown sugar
- 3 large eggs, at room temperature
- 1/4 cup orange blossom honey
- 2 tsp. good vanilla
- 1 cup semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips or discs
For the Irish Cream Layer:
In a stand mixer, whip cream cheese. Add sugar and remaining ingredients. Place in a small bowl and set to the side.
For the brownies:
Sift together all dry ingredients. Place in the mixer, then add eggs, butter, honey, vanilla and melted chocolate. Mix well. Stir in chocolate chips last.
Place a sheet of parchment paper in the bottom of a 13×9 baking pan. Coat the bottom and sides of pan well with non stick spray. Pour half of the chocolate brownie batter into the pan, spreading evenly. Next, cover the brownie layer with a layer of the Irish Cream mixture, using the all of the mixture. Finally, spread the remaining half of the brownie batter over the Irish cream layer. Bake at 350 for about an hour to one hour and 15 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Life is too short to eat ugly food y’all.